On Good Friday I was asked to do a short talk on Jesus' cry from the cross, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" This brought back distant memories of reading the whole Bible in three days in a hotel room in France after my first visit to Swiss L'Abri in 1964. I had never read it before, didn¹t believe it and was shocked to have found intelligent people who did. As I wrote down my reasons why I couldn¹t believe it, these words of Jesus from the cross were high on the list. They seemed to point to complete failure at the heart of the religion of the Bible.

The Old Testament bristles with promises of God¹s faithfulness, especially to those in trouble -- "The Lord will not forsake his people", "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble". Had God the Father broken his promises and abandoned Jesus at his time of greatest need? Or, after promising to give peace to everybody else, had Jesus himself collapsed, caving in under the pressure of suffering and imminent death? Many of his own followers, and even Socrates seemed to have faced death with far greater dignity and calm. When Stephen, the first Christian martyr died, they said his face looked like that of an angel. Nobody ever said Jesus' face looked like an angel when he was on the cross.

If Jesus had no peace at his time of death, if his faith crumbled ­ and he seemed to be as close to God as anyone ­ what chance do we have? And why should we pay any attention to his promises? Perhaps the whole thing was a fraud, an act that Jesus sustained as long as he could, then at the very end revealed in his weakness that it had all been fake? There was something very wrong at the heart of this religion, which made it easy for me to dismiss it.

But I had doubts about my doubts. If these words discredit the Bible as much as they seem to, why weren't the writers embarrassed by them? In fact, Matthew and Mark called attention to them as Jesus' only recorded words spoken from the cross.

I gradually discovered that I had gotten it wrong. Not a little bit wrong, but completely wrong. The death of Jesus was absolutely unique and impossible to compare with the death of others. When Jesus cried out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" it was even worse than it sounds. He was not just forsaken by the Father he was condemned by the Father. It was not for anything he had done wrong. It was for our sin. Isaiah put it best, hundreds of years before it happened. He wrote, "All we like sheep have gone astray, and turned each one to his own way, and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all." (53:6) The just punishment for the sins of millions of people fell on Jesus' back like a landslide. All this happened that any who might trust him would be free from this liability, forgiven and accepted, their sins separated from them "as far as the east is from the west".

Jesus laid down his life on purpose, knowing what he was doing and what it was for. The Father had "so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life." The Father turned his back on his Son to turn his face to those who would trust him. It was true that something was desperately wrong at the heart of the message of the Bible. But it was not the unfaithfulness of the Father. Nor was it the collapse of Jesus. It was not even some massive contradiction within the Bible itself. What was wrong was us.

The horror of what happened on the cross was necessary to undo the human damage. Our betrayal of God was the cause for the Father forsaking the Son. The events of Easter morning showed that the price was paid, that Jesus had gone through death and then out the other side to prepare a place for us. The last word was not Christ¹s words on the cross, but rather the love of God and his power over death and disintegration.

We had a good winter term, finishing at the end of March with the sense that God had been among us and a very diverse group of students. We had a good number who were with us for the whole term and others for a significant part of it. Please pray for them since several of them have a lot on their plates in the coming months.

We began the term with three new workers who had been helpers most of last year ­ Doug LaFountain and Mark and Terri Ryan, joining Tommi Shaw who had become a worker last summer. That means half of our team is new to the work. You may remember in my last prayer letter that I asked for prayer for the growth of our team. We are thankful, as this significant prayer has been answered. It can be a real challenge for us to work together -- often needing to make quick decisions with different students from different places and with different needs. It is vital that we be unified on important theological, psychological and community issues so that we can create a coherent, positive atmosphere. We are extremely grateful to God for helping us to pull together so that we are both reading and writing "on the same page".

The Morrells are all doing well. Joe did a great job as the only adult to have a part in a wonderful performance of "Oliver" put on by Luke's school. I am gradually getting free from cynicism about my book on cynicism, and have made real progress, with the end in sight. Mardi had a fruitful time taking part in a panel discussion on "Women's Spirituality" at the University of Texas, along with women representing Judaism, Islam and Neo-Pagan goddess worship.

Sue Morrell, Mardi and I went to the L¹Abri annual members' meeting in Switzerland. Give thanks for that time. It is a great encouragement to meet together and hear of God¹s faithfulness in the various branches. Thank God especially for the growth of the residential work in Holland, part time workers and volunteers in Sweden, and for the new location of a residential branch on the east coast of South Korea.

We are thankful for a full house already booked for most of this next term. Pray for all the logistics of a big crowd, and for the unity and seriousness of the group.

Pray for our three helpers for the spring term, Luke, Jessica and Joel.

Pray for our finances and for being able to cut costs across the board and especially on medical care.

Pray for the conference this summer at McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario, near Toronto on Aug. 8-11, and for the future of L¹Abri in Canada.

We have been given a message to a world that so often sees itself as alone and "God forsaken". That message is "no, the world is not forsaken". Jesus was forsaken that we not have to be. Please pray that we might live and speak this message with God¹s power.

Dick Keyes